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I poured myself a glass at the bar and prayed U.D would be too drunk to remember the slap. She couldn’t have slept with him, could she? Of course she had. How could she? I took a large gulp as the images of her red dress, her supple breasts, her scent and her pouted lips tormented me. I had to get over her. I knew I wasn’t going to. I had to have her again and again.
The night was the longest as I sat and schemed on how to get her attention once more. Surely she still wanted me between her curves and smooth patch. I felt myself growing hard at the thought and stood up to take a cold shower. I didn’t need two heads thinking for me today.
The first light of dawn had me going for groceries at SPAR. Dropping a bag at her house at 8am and tagging it anonymous, I waited patiently for her call. Of course the old Gateman promised to have it delivered immediately and had nodded with enthusiasm as I tipped him with high notes before leaving. U.D was walking out of the house as I drove in at few minutes past 9am.
“Hey early bird” I called partly hoping he didn’t remember the slap. He looked rested. He must have been too drunk I concluded.
“Hey bro” he shook my hand as he walked up to me as I stepped out from the car.
“Going out”? I returned the firm slap of his hand.
“Yes. I have got a date” he said and shone his teeth in bright smiles. I was green with envy but smiled too.
“With Funke I suppose?” I asked fishing.
“The very same” he said entering his Rover.
“Have fun” I called after him hoping he would not.
A plan began to form in my head.
Another knock sounded on the front door and I held my bathrobe tight to my chest. I mouthed a silent prayer against the forces of Emeka Douglass.
“Who is that?” I called rather loudly at few minutes past 9am.
“Na Musa Ma” it was the old Gateman and I felt relief rush through me as I opened the door.
“One man say make I give you” he said handing me a basket.
“Who?” my eyes suspicious of the gift.
“I no no Ma” he said
“And you collected it. Go away with it” I dismissed him and closed the door. It had to be Emeka. It just had to be him.
Another knock soon sounded again as I climbed back into bed. I let the person knock some more. My phone rang afterwards. I broke into smiles and went down to open the door.
“Okay?” it was U.D leaning against the door with raised eyebrows.
“Hey” I left the door opened and hurriedly brushed my hair with my hand thanking God I was dark skinned. The blood rushing to my face and tensed air leaving my body told me I was falling for him.
“So you are just waking up” he said as I turned to face him. All smiles and heart beating fast.
“Emm, nope” I said waiting for him to take me in his hands unconsciously. He approached me and I stood still. I stopped breathing the moment he bent to plant a kiss on my dry lips.
“Someone is yet to brush” he said as he bit my lower lips. I pushed him away totally embarrassed.
“Silly” I slapped his hand resting lightly on my hips.
“I have brushed na” he feigned seriousness as I walked back up to go brush.
“Haba! Come na, Oya na” he ran after me and in playful rush, I ran up. He pursued.
“Open this door” he said hitting the door of my bathroom. I rushed to my brush and minutes later poured out my mouth content. Rinsed my mouth and checked my reflection in the mirror before I opened the door to see him fold his arms across his broad chest.
“Are you done? Can I get my kiss now” he asked as I looked over his shoulder to nowhere in particular. I was giddy with excitement.
“Maybe” I said almost shy but holding my head straight. He shouldn’t know that he affected me this bad I thought.
“That is just enough for me” with that he brought his head down and my breath caught in my throat.
“Are you excited?” he asked in a whisper. My heart beating fast.
“Yes” I answered softly as his lips claimed mine. The minty flavor soon diluted as he deepened his kiss and pulled me close tugging my night robe at the waist. Unconsciously, I raised myself on my toes and pressed close to him; his hand positioning my head and brutally assaulting my lips just before sucking them into his. A moan escaped me as my hand traveled to his neck in abandon.
In a swift movement, he lifted me up and dropped me on the bed still kissing me.
“Your heart is beating so fast” I informed him quietly as he stretched his length against me.
“How you make me feel” he replied before planting his lips on mine again. His hands had found my belt and tugged my robe opened. Barely covered in flowery panties and white lacy bra, I studied his expression as his eyes traveled the length of my body. He seemed to be contemplating what to do with the offered sacrifice as he teased me by planting wet kisses directly on my nipples.
“Let’s get breakfast” he jumped off abruptly. I looked at him with pleading eyes but he looked everywhere else except my eyes. I knew deep within me why I wanted this. The moment I had him, I was simply going to lose interest. Perhaps I wanted this so bad because I was afraid of losing myself to him. I pushed the possibility of love aside. Surely I was incapable of love.
“What do you have in mind?” I asked getting out of bed and throwing my robe on the bed. He watched quietly, his throat clamping hard. I walked seductively to my wardrobe and took more time in finding a pair of leggings and provocative blouse. Wriggling my butt into them, I wished I could see the look on his face. Turning to face him, I saw him fix his stare on my back and smiled.
“You know you have got to stop wearing these” he said in thick voice before heading out. I followed him minutes later, wearing my blouse and combing my hair into a bun.
“Smells good” I said stepping into the kitchen. He had eggs frying while he grated carrots in the pan that revealed lots of onions and chili.
“I am a chef baby” he said lightly. The dark countenance gone.
“And what is chef baby making?” I joked coming to stand beside him.
“Breakfast baby?” he joked back.
“Need help?” I asked
“Yes, squeeze the oranges” he said as dropped the grater in the sink and squeezed my breasts.
“Hey! Stop that” I beat his hands away.
“I told you to stop dressing so sexy” he said without missing a beat and went back to the egg.
Minutes later, food down, we stretched lazily on the big couch.
“When are you going to the office?” I asked reminding him of the workload.
“Up for all night?” he asked as he brushed my hair.
“No” I replied.
“We go soon then” he replied turning down the volume of Rihanna’s Rude Boy.
“I am not ready” I made to collect the Remote.
“So you dance” it was a rhetorical question.
“I was in a good mood” I defended knowing he was referring to his welcome party. I couldn’t tell him Bassey was here before I came to pick him up plus the look on Bassey’s face when he barged in on us was disturbing. He looked hurt. I didn’t dwell on it though. It was done and it was past.
“Will you marry me?” he suddenly blurted out.
My body turned cold and jumped out of his arms like I was stung.
“No” I answered so fast my head spun.
“Why” he asked sitting so calm.
“Because I slept with your twin brother” I replied eyes blaring.
“And I told you it didn’t matter anymore”
“I am older than you” I found another reason
“You are not”
“I don’t know you well” I found yet another reason
“You are out of reasons. We will get married in two months”
“I am not and you are joking” I laughed yet afraid. Somehow, he looked so serious and determined.
“I am not going anywhere Funke. I am not going to have sex with you just so you can have me out of your system” he informed, eyes finally resting on me.
I caught my breath.
“Yes, Funke. You are that obvious”
“I think lives would be better if it we don’t complicate it”
“And you think having sex with every man is not complication?” he asked and it felt like a slap. I blinked.
“You need to leave now” I stood up.
“Don’t get all tensed up” he said
“I am not. I want to have sex with you and be done with it. Getting married to you is out of it” I stated evenly.
“I won’t have sex with you until you say yes” he insisted stubbornly.
“You will and very soon too” I challenged excitement coursing through me.
“We will see. Meet me when you have bathed at the office” with that he planted a hard kiss on my lips and took his leave.
Sitting down heavily after I heard his car drive out, I knew it was time to weigh my options.
“I can’t believe I just asked her to marry me. What was I thinking?” I asked myself aloud as I drove to the office. Was it just to spite Bassey? Did I really want to get married? To Funke? I know we were good together and the feel of her body against mine felt so good. Too good. I smiled as I remembered the butt wriggling and white lacy bra that had her pale nipples poking out. It was quite a sight and doubted if I was going to keep my hands off her for long.
The slap still rang in my head. Bassey must have been pissed but it felt good to be the one desired now. The pent up years of resentment; having him steal my women were over and it would seem Funke was the kind of challenge he needed to break his pride. I found myself enjoying the feel. Almighty Bassey panting after a woman that wanted me. How the tides change. It was petty but it felt so good.
If there was one thing I was sure of was this: Funke Dayo was one hell of a lady and I was going to get married to her in two months.
I waited all day for U.D but he was nowhere in sight. The suspense killed me. Did she get my gift? She would have called me if she did by now. My phone buzzed just then and I picked it with alacrity. It was Susan. Another booty-call. I dropped the phone with distaste. She was spoiled goods. The images of what could be happening got me fired up and I drove to the house on surveillance.
I drove past the house and looked out for either of their cars. I didn’t see any. I parked a block down and walked to the house. The old guard broke out in smiles as he opened the gate just in time to see me.
“Oga, welcome” he smiled looking at my hands.
“Is she home?” I asked.
“Madam don komot” he answered still looking at my hand
“She komot with somebody?” I poked.
“No o” he answered walking away.
“The man wey come here unkor?” I asked some more.
“You know Oga, I no no you. I no fit dey tell you everything about my Madam. You know how ei go look” he looked at my hand again. I smiled. He needed notes.
I made out with some and he broke into smiles with his brown teeth showing his appreciation.
“But Oga, you know na”
“I know” I waited.
“One man come. The man look like you small. He komot then she too come komot later”
“So they didn’t go together” I asked
“Did you give her the basket?”
“Eheeeeen, I give her but she come give me” he scratched his head.
“She didn’t look inside?” I asked now furious with the corrupt old man.
“She just say make I take am. So I take am” he said opening his palms as he explained.
I had heard enough and went back to my car. Where did they go to? For how long were together. I was going crazy. I had to see her soon.
The quiet office had most of the staff finishing their designs. U.D and I worked oblivious of time. Yawning as I stretched at past 7pm, I suddenly remembered I had not eaten save breakfast.
“Hungry?” he spoke my mind.
“Dinner at my place?” he suggested finally looking at me through tired eyes.
“Sure” I answered.
“Just few minutes”
“I hope Bassey will not be be home” It was a question.
“Do you care?” it was harsh.
“You shouldn’t have slept with him then”
“Don’t speak to me in that tone”
“You are having dinner at home with me. If you have problems with it, deal with it before we get there” it was almost a command.
“Why doesn’t it bother you? It is weird to want me after knowing I slept with him” I wanted to annoy him.
“What is weird is getting married to you in two months. I am weird alright” he closed his work and got up.
I stood scanning my witty mind for a reply but came out empty.
He didn’t need an answer. Few minutes later, we headed home.
I waited at home to tell U.D that I knew what he was up to. Trying to make me jealous wasn’t going to work and I knew he wasn’t with Funke. That thought died the moment they both exited their cars and walked towards the entrance with U.D taking her hand in his. The old man must have fed me wrong information.
“Hey” it was U.D.
“Had fun?” I asked underlined with meaning.
“More like work” it was U.D. He looked like he was enjoying the charade. I winked at him and he winked back. Funke barely smiled and looked largely uncomfortable. I liked the fact that she was uncomfortable. It meant that she still remembered my worthwhile administrations.
“How are you?” I asked her squarely.
“I am good. You look good” she complimented. I smiled. Perhaps he didn’t satisfy her.
”Dinner” it was U.D and she followed him to the kitchen with hands on her waist. His voice was heard ordering the cook and followed the cook to his room with the food trolley. I sneaked to the kitchen. Her back to me, I dropped my hands on her waist and she turned to face me. Her eyes angry.
“Get your hands off me” she moved but backed into a corner instead. I blocked her path with my body.
“You look good Funke”
“Don’t touch me” she said and I moved to let her pass. She rushed out of the kitchen just as she bumped into U.D.
“Oh” she said relaxing as she saw him and I saw the look in her eyes. It looked like she really cared about what U.D thought of her.
“Was going to wait for Dad but I might as well as say it now” it was U.D holding her on her waist before stealing a kiss. I blinked.
“What?” I asked right before Funke looked at him momentarily confused. Then it hit her.
“No” she shook her head vehemently.
“Yes” he said rubbing her nose with his.
“What?” I asked wondering why she was so uncomfortable.
“We are getting married in August”
“The hell you are” I retorted hotly.
It was never going to happen.